God That Was Strange To See You Again
by Amarante-ai
Summary: KuroFai song fic: "Your Ex-Lover Is Dead" by the Stars. Fai is in a new world, in a taxi with another Kurogane. How awkward. Part 2: "In Any Other World" by MIKA; what happens now?
1. We drove in circles

Disclaimer: Here there be CLAMP characters, fiction, and some particularly fabulous lyrics by the Stars.

A/N: This will probably make more sense if you have heard the song "Your Ex-Lover Is Dead" by the Stars (and covered by many). A huge thank you for The Random Ninja's patience since our system of exchanging fics for editing can become confusing.

* * *

"**When there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire"**

**-Your Ex-Lover Is Dead, The Stars**

**God That Was Strange To See You Again  
**

_Introduced by a friend of a friend  
Smiled and said 'yes I think we've met before'_

_In that instant it started to pour,  
Captured a taxi despite all the rain  
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain  
And all of the time you thought I was sad  
I was trying to remember your name..._

What a weird guy. I could tell he recognized me, but I've never seen him before. I have an excellent memory for faces. I don't think I wouldn't have forgotten such a girly guy. When I first saw him, I thought he was female.

_**This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin  
Tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in  
Now you're outside me  
You see all the beauty  
Repent all your sin  
**_

It's been 5 months since I left. I knew meeting people I had known in other worlds was possible, but I never anticipated meeting another Kurogane. Yet, here I was sharing a taxi with him. How awkward.

During my first month in this new world, after leaving Yuuko's shop by myself, I got an apartment and a job at a café. After traveling to so many different places, it seemed wrong to stay in the same place for too long. And then there was a time soon after arriving, that I saw a Chi with a dark haired man at work. Seeing her must have been _hitsuzen__,_ reminding me not to get too comfortable since my past never stays in the past.

_**It's nothing but time and a face that you lose  
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose  
I'll write you a postcard  
I'll send you the news  
From a house down the road from real love...**_

I was a coward until the very end.

Kurogane may hate me, but it's best this way. No matter how much it hurts to have him hate me, it will always be better to have him hate me than love me. Nothing would be worse than if he loved me. I tend to bring bad luck to those around me.

Everyone I care about always ends up hurt, it has happened time after time. Ashura, Fai, Sakura. They were all hurt. But this time I will change _hitsuzen_. This time, I will save Kurogane, if no one else. By never seeing him again, I will save him.

_**Live through this, and you won't look back...  
Live through this, and you won't look back...  
Live through this, and you won't look back...  
**_

No matter how badly I miss him or need him, it doesn't matter. Keeping my distance from him is important for his own safety. He _is_ worth it and always will be. Kurogane was always too nice. He may have been a ninja but there was a reason I called him Sakura and Syaoran's father. Even though he tried to be discreet, he really did care about the children. After all, his integrity as a ninja would be hurt if the rest of the humanity ever found out.

_**There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave  
You were what I wanted  
I gave what I gave  
I'm not sorry I met you  
I'm not sorry it's over  
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save**_

Rain smacks hard against the window of the cab as the other Kurogane tries to make small talk. It's hard to pay attention to the words he says when looking at him brings back the memories of the time we spent together.

The night before I left for this world, when I said goodbye, I lied, again. I didn't tell him how I felt and most people would say withholding the truth is just as bad as a lie. Someone wise once told me that feelings are useless if one doesn't tell the other person. Even when I want to be honest, I can't.

_**I'm not sorry there's nothing to save...**_

But at least I did say goodbye. It might not have meant much to him as I walked out of the door and out of his life, but Kurogane changed me in more ways than I probably realize, and it means the world to me. Kurogane did give me something to fight for. I am still fighting for him. Each day that passes, I will miss him and part of me will always be waiting for him. But with each day that comes, I will fight myself, I will force myself to keep away. That ought to count for something.

* * *

La fin (_presque_)

A/N: Presque (for those who don't know) means not quite, or almost. While editing, it was mentioned by The Random Ninja (and I agree) that this fic isn't quite finished. I'll come back and write a proper ending some day soon.

And, as always, reviews are appreciated.


	2. You could tell the difference

Disclaimer: Here there be CLAMP characters and song lyrics by MIKA.

Author's notes: This was idea that came to me at 3 am and it wouldn't shut up. I ended up reaching for a pen and paper (both of which I keep on my bedside table) and writing down sentences as they came. The next day, however, I had a bit of trouble understanding what I had scribbled in the dark. _FUN! _And then, when I finally had it written out, I go to send it to TheRandomNinja for editing and this song comes on my media player. It was automatic. _This had to be a song fic, using this song._ That thought rang through my head like the drums in the Master's mind. (Dr. Who fans will know what I mean.) So a major thanks to TheRandomNinja who lets me say I'm going to send something immediately when actually it takes 15 to 30 minutes. And she still does a great beta read.

PS: I'm in love with this song. If you haven't already, I suggest you go listen to it. It definitely at the top of my KuroFai playlist. (I can't write without music, after all.)

Song: In Any Other World

Artist: MIKA

Language aid: Kitto is Japanese for "surely"

**God That Was Strange To See You Again: Epilogue**

**_In any other world  
You could tell the difference  
And let it all unfurl  
Into broken remnants_**

Asthe cab neared his house, Fai considered the future.

When they did arrive at his house, he could invite this Kurogane inside. And there they could do things Fai had always wanted to do with Kurogane, but had always been too afraid... Too afraid to admit feelings. Too afraid of forming a bond. Too afraid of how it would change _them_. Too afraid to dare. But Fai had promised himself that he would change, he would try to be fearless, like Kurogane.

Fai could seduce Kurogane and make him want it. Kurogane had, at least, had enough beer. And afterwards, they would either meet again, or not. It was unlikely that they would ever see each other again after tonight.

**_Smile like you mean it  
And let yourself let go_**

But, this was different than a night with Kuro-tan. This new man may share Kurogane's soul, but he wasn't the same.

_So why_, Fai wondered, _do I care so much what Kurogane thinks about me?_

Why did Fai care? He could grab Kurogane's tie, use it to pull him over, and kiss him, and be certain he wouldn't be completely rejected. Fai had been flirting with the man all night, and still hadn't been shot down.

But as much as Fai wanted to, he didn't want Kurogane to think he was a total slut. Maybe a half slut, but not a total slut.

**_Cos it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter man  
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in  
Take a bow, play the part of a lonely lonely heart  
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in  
To the world you thought you lived in_**

And then, there was the pull. If they were so different, why did Fai feel the pull? The longing as if he was at the top of a roller coaster on its way down?

It wasn't as strong as it was in Fai's memory, but it was here. Maybe it was because, in some demented way, they were meant to be. That somehow, like Syaoran's King and priest, their souls would find a way to each other. It was a comforting thought, even though he was running away.

If it was hitsuzen, that meant it was possible that there was a Fai in Kuro-pu's world trying to seduce him at this very moment. _And it could be working!_ Fai could feel the stab of jealous pain reminding him of what he already knew.

He couldn't abuse Kurogane, any Kurogane.

**_I tried to live alone  
But lonely is so lonely, alone  
So human as I am  
I had to give up my defenses_**

Without him realizing it, they had arrived at his house.

Fai looked over at Kurogane, smiling. Little did this Kurogane know how close he had been to getting lucky.

Fai then leaned forward and left a kiss on his cheek, then whispered in his ear: "You'll find your Fai, someday. And I have my own Kurogane. Eventually, we will meet again. Kitto."

**_So I smiled and tried to mean it  
To let myself let go_**

As he leaned back to look Kurogane in the eye, he spoke with reverence, "I may not believe in fairy tales, but I believe in him."

It really didn't matter that this Kurogane was confused by his words at the moment. The words that meant the world to Fai (several worlds, actually) would be forgotten with the rising of the sun in the morning. Once Kurogane was sober again, he would think he was remembering it wrong and that it didn't mean anything anyway.

**_Cos it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter man  
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in  
Take a bow, play the part of a lonely lonely heart  
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in  
To the world you thought you lived in_**

With that, Fai stepped out of the cab, smiling. Of all the worlds he had visited, nothing could beat meeting a Kurogane. There was something inexplicable that made them click together. _Two peas in a pod._

**_Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in  
Say goodbye_**

As he walked up the steps to this not-quite home of his, Fai considered the future.

Where he lived currently may be empty and unlit, but one day his knight in shining armor would arrive and carry him back to the castle. This place was just a passing thought, an inbetween place. Kuro-myuu would come for him eventually. Even with all the places he'd been and all the sights he'd seen, Fai still found it impossible not to believed in him.

**_In any other world  
You could tell the difference_**

Kitto. Kurogane had taught him well.


End file.
